[ so, perhaps he'd expected some more low blows to come out of kaveh's mouth - some more insults about his character, maybe? about how little he cared about those around him, and that obviously alhaitham's interests could only be self-serving, like coming out tonight?
what he hadn't expected had been the blonde to actually throw a jab straight at his face, and to that end, he was actually quite unprepared.
they'd fought fraught and often, but had never come to the point of exchanging blows past angry words yelled down the corridors of a house that felt empty if either of them were missing from it. as the pain blossoms in the scribe's jaw, he's dimly aware he'd done at least something to deserve it - but that more rational part is drowned out for want of wounded pride, frustration, annoyance, why can't kaveh just pull his fucking head out and let him in.
taking a staggered step backwards (because kaveh wasn't weak by any means - he was all lithe, wiry muscle, a glass cannon in a beautiful vessel) a gloved hand reaches up to clutch his mouth where he'd been struck, the flash of something wild crossing his face for the briefest of moments. it was rare, so rare to see the scribe's resolve slip, but kaveh was the only one that could irk him so, worm his way into his goddamn brain and live there just as lackadaisical on the rent as he did in his real home.
without thinking, alhaitham closes the distance between them again with one furious stride and grabs kaveh by the shoulders, fingers curling into his shirt. part of him wants to simply throw the architect into the bush; kick him out, for good this time; perhaps, spend a great deal of time elucidating to him his many, many flaws; but despite the pain in his jaw, he can't bring himself to do any of those things.
the tears in kaveh's eyes act like his kryptonite - and while he's not going to turn this into a brawl, it only builds on his immense frustration at the situation. voice raised for the first time since they'd started this carry-on; ]
What the hell has gotten into you?
[ he demands scathingly, emerald eyes flashing as he stares kaveh down - searching, for answers that he was obviously not going to get. almost as quickly as he'd grabbed the blonde's slender shoulders, he lets them go like kaveh is white hot. maybe he remembers the more rational part of himself; that they're in public. maybe he just realises that perhaps, this is all a foregone conclusion anyway.
taking a step back, it's alhaitham's turn to curl his hands into fists, obviously trying to quell some of the rage bubbling up within. he couldn't let himself get sucked into this vortex - and there was obviously no point in being part of kaveh's tempest anyway. turning on his heel, he looks over his shoulder back towards kaveh - but down at the ground, not directly at him. ]
You won't have to worry about my 'help' at all in the future. How stupid I was, not to see that you were doing perfectly without it.
[ There's something unsettling about the look that crosses so briefly over Alhaitham's face as he lifts a hand to his mouth, a wild expression so different from the usual calm, stoic countenance he wears. For a single moment, the architect's lips part as if to offer an apology, but the words don't come; even if they did they'd be lost anyway in the way that the other charges forward and grabs him, all cold fury and digging fingers.
The anger and hurt is still bubbling and churning in his own gut, shining in the tears at the corners of his eyes, but something in that furious look staggers him into a shame that prevents him from acting further, even as Alhaitham drops his grip again and steps away.
What the hell has gotten into him, is the question on the scribe's lips... and the truth is: a lot. So much, in fact, that even lips loose from too much alcohol won't spill a word of it. So much that he would rather punch his way out of a situation than talk about it, lest his pride be left shattered.
Never mind that his pride is already in pieces at his feet.
...He's well and truly fucked things up this time, hasn't he?
For several long moments, all Kaveh can do is stand there as the scribe strides away, watching the broad shoulders of his departing figure in a silence that rings loud in his ears. And it feels like hours before he pulls himself away, slinking in the opposite direction in the search of something strong with which to drown this newest sorrow that he's just created for himself. ]
[ Well, there's no time like the present moment to continue their discussion, and the means of communication do not honestly matter to the architect. As such, Kaveh makes his way into the study with all of his usual aplomb, picking up the book in question and leafing through it for the condoms he himself placed in there earlier, for reasons that he still hasn't entirely explained— and that, honestly, he's not entirely sure he fully knows himself. He should probably feel embarrassed over the whole thing, but with the worst of the uncomfortable conversational turn having passed them by at this point, any worries of the sort are long gone, and his mood has changed for the better once more.
Perhaps in the long run however, the outcome of the situation is to end up somewhat more unpleasant for Alhaitham, who now has to listen to Kaveh's lyrical voice as he goes about lecturing the scribe on his choice of words. ]
Regardless of your opinion on the terminology, Alhaitham, surely you can see that the textbook language for an act so intimate is dry at best and dispassionate at worst. It's none of my business, I know, but it's a total turn-off.
[ Alhaitham at least has the grace to switch his music player off when Kaveh enters, but he doesn't immediately look up from the book that he's poring over — he's moved on from probability to number theory, apparently. After a few moments of consideration, though, he gets the distinct sense that this is a "book down" kind of conversation, so he places a marker at the page he's left off on and closes the book cover, straightening his sitting posture upwards slightly as he looks up. ]
What would you like me to say to that, Kaveh? Should I apologize for turning you off?
[ Not that he's saying that he'd do that, of course. ]
Besides, I offered an opportunity for you to adjust my verbiage. You could exercise it, if you care so much.
[ For better or for worse? He'll change his terminology immediately. And he'll stick with it, even if Kaveh hasn't forecast how things might play out into the broad future. ]
[ Kaveh's response to that comment is a laugh, a shake of his head as he recovers and pockets the condoms, closing the book to place it on the table once again. There's not an ounce of discomfort in how he does it, either; he has sex sometimes, he's not afraid to hide it even in the face of his amoeba of a roommate. ]
No need, I'm used to it. I'm just saying that if you ever do plan on getting la— I'm sorry, on having "sexual intercourse"— [ and here he lifts his hands, fingers forming air quotes as he talks ] —you're liable to scare off potential partners with that kind of language.
[ On second thought, maybe it would just be easier to exercise that opportunity and change Alhaitham's vocabularic choice to one that he prefers. Not for his own benefit, of course, but to prepare the other for any of those potential partners whom he might come across...
His finger taps against his lip, and after a moment or two, he looks up at Alhaitham with a nod. ]
You know what? You're right. You should change how you say it.
Anybody who is so thoroughly put off by the phrase "sexual intercourse" isn't compatible with me in the first place, so that's fine by me.
[ Then again, Alhaitham does pride himself on being the least desirable bachelor in all of Sumeru, probably. It takes talent to be hot and intelligent with a nice paycheck and stable career and property, yet still not considered a highly desirable partner on the marriage market!
Anyway, Alhaitham knows very well the tells that Kaveh gives when he gets "ideas", so he decides to just wait for the other shoe to drop — and it doesn't take too long. ]
Let's hear your suggestion, then. [ Alhaitham leans back in his seat, crossing his arms loosely. ] I hope you've thought it through thoroughly. You might cause me some serious problems in the future if you haven't.
[ ... So he says, but it's not like Alhaitham talks about sex a lot. It's just mildly amusing, the thought of randomly thrusting the responsibility of Alhaitham's vocabulary onto Kaveh, as if Alhaitham isn't the Haravatat graduate between the two of them. ]
[ It probably doesn't help the situation that Kaveh's response to that is to start laughing, a bright vibrant sound that fills the otherwise quiet room with noise for a few moments. For some reason, the thought of Alhaitham having trouble with the verbiage of his choosing is oddly funny, although he's not sure whether it's because he can empathize with his potential embarrassment or just because he cannot actually imagine the other finding himself in a situation where said embarrassment would be an issue.
It's with an almost-thoughtful expression of his own that the architect perches himself on the edge of Alhaitham's desk. ]
You offered two alternatives of your own before, if you remember. Perhaps we should begin by discussing their practicality as replacements.
[ Is he being difficult for the sake of it? Possibly. But then again, linguistic discourse is an area of specialty for the other man. Why should Kaveh not entertain him? ]
Let's see... you suggested "making love", didn't you? It's not a bad choice, although I'd argue it runs into a few problems for more casual encounters...
Are you trying to make fun of me? I think we both know that I don't routinely seek... casual encounters. [ The air quotes can practically be heard around "casual encounters", it's something in the subtle shift in tone as he enunciates the syllables. ] I see your point, though. Besides that, euphemistic phrases often leave room for subjective interpretation. I prefer to reduce the amount of ambiguity in my words.
[ Except when the ambiguity benefits him, of course, but that's neither here nor there. Maybe. ]
Anyway, I thought that you'd have some original thoughts of your own, but we can move onto the other candidate I offered up first. As for "fucking", [ and in contrast to the air quotes from before, he says the vulgarity like a totally banal word, without drawing any particular attention to it— ] It's only situationally appropriate. Or do you disagree?
[ Then again, taking into account the only situations that Alhaitham would ever be talking about sex, it's actually not so bad of a candidate. In the first place, he can count on one hand the number of people he might ever talk about sex with, and barring Kaveh after a few drinks, none of them are the type to bring it up except in private. At which point, they'd probably all find Alhaitham's commitment to saying "fuck" more humorous than anything else — or at least, funnier than any jokes Cyno has ever tried (intentionally) to land. ]
Hardly. [ The accusation is met with a roll of Kaveh's eyes, a fold of his arms over his chest as if he's offended, although it's a pose that isn't held for long, instead turning into a shrug as he continues. ] Just because you don't make a habit of it doesn't mean it's not worth considering. I would also argue that while euphemistic, its interpretation is universally understood, leaving little room for subjectivity. I still think it is far from a good fit, but something to keep in mind nonetheless.
[ The issue of ambiguity is, in fact, why he's started off with Alhaitham's own suggestions. Many of the other terms that he might use for this kind of thing— sleep with, get laid, get down/dirty, screw, bang— are most definitely euphemisms, and therefore don't suit the scribe's lofty preferences.
He should probably tell him that instead of just letting the jab about original thoughts pass by, but he's too busy focusing on the dry, uninteresting way Alhaitham says "fucking", a twitch at the corners of his mouth as he tries not to laugh. It's right in this exact moment in fact that he decides that this has to be the word of choice— now he just has to convince his roommate of that fact. ]
Hmm? Situationally appropriate, you say? Would you care to elaborate?
I disagree about it being universally understood. If a person's partner is more invested in the idea of a relationship than the other... then introducing any terms that include the word "love" is automatically going to give a stronger impression than intended.
[ Not that this would ever be a problem for Alhaitham, who has absolutely no problem with using all his other words to tell people to go away and leave him alone. But as long as they're talking about the general usage, he feels like the point stands.
Anyway. Anyway, he sees that threat of a smile forming and he can half-guess where Kaveh wants to take the conversational flow next. He's not fully against the idea of it, but he can't just let himself be convinced so easily, can he? ]
No, actually, I wouldn't. You already know that it's situationally appropriate. That's why you haven't used the phrase in text or out loud in this conversation yet... given that, it's on you to argue that it isn't the case. So, Kaveh? What's your argument to the case that the word "fucking" is universally appropriate?
a novel... thank the concept of structured argument
[ Well, now they're having two entirely separate arguments on two entirely separate turns of phrase, and while Kaveh knows he should probably just let the former go in favor of the latter— especially when "fucking" is such a delicious terminology to try and convince the other to exclusively use— he can't bring himself to do so.
(Maybe, he might wonder later, he actually enjoys their banter, as much as he would claim it pisses him off.) ]
While I would usually agree with you about the word "love" being somewhat dangerous, at this point that phrase has its own particular meaning, and does not necessarily imply the same depth of affection as the word on its own otherwise might. [ Of course, it still might be a little much for someone who, in Kaveh's mind, knows love only for semiotics and logic, but that's neither here nor there.
But as for their other debate... It honestly doesn't occur to him that he himself hasn't said the word once until Alhaitham calls him out on it, and then he finds himself laughing again, offering an amused shake of his head. So, he is to argue the proposition then... alright, he can do that. ]
First of all, I need to address the fact that we seem to be considering different aspects of appropriateness. If you have concerns about, for example, educational situations, I think we can both agree that the textbook definition would suffice— would, in fact, be preferred. If you're teaching a sexual education class, I would hardly expect for you discuss the concept with even a lesser term such as, for example, "getting laid".
But, as to the universal suitability of "fucking"— [ and he says it now, really draws the word out, an almost challenging expression in his eyes as looks Alhaitham right in the face ] —Realistically, conversations about sex life really only occur amongst friends and lovers. In those circumstances, there is surely no issue with you discussing whom you have fucked, or about issues that may have come up whilst in the act of being fucked.
[ Is he deliberately emphasizing the word each and every time? Yes, yes he is. ]
Of course, I might be wrong. Is there a situation in which you can imagine you would feel uncomfortable talking about fucking someone, Alhaitham?
and another thing, (rambles on for a full wikipedia article)
[ Kaveh might not want to let the semantics of love go, but Alhaitham is perfectly willing, because he thinks that in the first place... nobody should ever give him the authority to talk about love-tangential topics. He doesn't want to talk about them, either...
Alhaitham takes every single one of those enunciated "fuck"s with remarkable placidity, holding eye contact without showing any reaction. He gets what Kaveh is trying to do here, and were he a lesser man, this would be a great place to go for the "ugh, you are so vulgar" punchline. But a lesser man he is not, he's going to debate Kaveh into a corner fair and square!! ]
To start, I'll make it clear that I'm not arguing we were ever having an education conversation. But your argument would seem to imply that what really bothered you is less the verbiage, and more the connotation. What you've told me just now is that "sexual intercourse" is a term that should be used when one wants to detach the act from the speaker... as it would be if it were an educational situation. And what I hypothesize from the rest is that what you actually wanted was for me to signal that I was treating this as a conversation amongst friends or lovers. [ The mirroring of language is, of course, very deliberate. ] In that context, sex is being discussed as something that actively relates to one or both of us. Therefore, you want me to use a phrasing that shows that I've drawn a distinction between situations where sex is an act between unrelated parties... and situations where sex is an intimacy to at least one person in the conversation. Am I following?
[ It's kind of almost tangential to decency for him to even ask if he's on track or not... but it's not, because Alhaitham believes he's on track either way. In his mind, Kaveh is a person who cares about these distinctions that he personally doesn't assign much weight to, so all of that would be consistent with the impression he's always had of Kaveh. ]
If I have to use that dichotomy, then no. I don't have any problems at all with talking about fucking someone, Kaveh. But I don't think that's what you actually wanted to hear me say... is it?
[ Is he baiting? Oh hell yeah. But Alhaitham feels like it can't be considered a cheap move, considering he refrained from calling Kaveh out from starting off his "universal appropriateness" argument by immediately ruling out a huge chunk of situations. ]
[ The difficult thing about arguing with a student of semiotics is exactly what one might imagine it to be. Alhaitham is a master of the linguistic art, and while Kaveh is no slouch when it comes to his intellect, his specialties lie elsewhere, notably in the fields of art and architectural design and all the things that come hand in hand with that. Like art history and physics. There was never any question that the scribe was going to debate him into a corner.
Consider, for example, the fact that Alhaitham is not only on track, but has put into words Kaveh's stance better than the architect was able to himself, even in his own mind.
Not that he's going to admit that. ]
I suppose that would be close enough to accurate that I could award you the point, yes.
[ Despite his having soundly lost the debate, he can't help but feel that the scribe's agreement to the terms of the suggested dichotomy is in fact a kind of victory of its own. What catches his attention, however, is the question asked immediately after said agreement. ]
Hmm— It's not?
[ And of course, he ends his statement by taking the bait Alhaitham has laid out for him. (He wouldn't be Kaveh if he didn't.) His arms fold over his chest, eyes narrowing as his head tilts with the question. Maybe, just maybe, he's genuinely stumped by the suggestion being made here, something he tries to hide by turning the question back on the other: ]
Tell me then, junior: what do you think I wanted to hear you say?
[ Someone with a kinder heart might at least give Kaveh some well-deserved recognition for challenging Alhaitham in an arena he is very well acquainted with, but not Alhaitham. He's shameless, so if Kaveh wanted to debate him on his artistic sensibilities, he would just say, "I don't know. You're the expert, not me," and refuse to engage. ]
I couldn't possibly presume out loud as to what your thoughts are on.
[ Somehow, Alhaitham's tone is extremely, purposefully flat... yet he still gives off the impression of just barely physically restraining himself from a smirk. If Kaveh wants to imply he's being a brat of a junior? Sure, he can do that! ]
I merely suspected that there might be something else on my esteemed senior's mind...
[ Enunciation on "esteemed senior" to emphasize that if Kaveh's going to bring seniority into this, then it would be so terribly, terribly rude for him to attempt to speak on behalf of his senior. Not that Alhaitham has ever held much reverence or respect these arbitrary systems of seniority, of course — but hey, if it's to his advantage, then he's going to make use of all he's got. ]
If anything, I should be asking you if there's anything that you'd like to say. I've been speaking so much, and you've only just started to make your stance known. Allow me to defer the topic to let my respectable senior lead the conversation.
[ Kaveh is starting to find himself getting irritated now. For something that began with him toying with Alhaitham by way of the condoms tucked into his book, it has very quickly turned into Alhaitham toying with him instead. The scribe's tone may be flat, but he can practically hear the smirk in it despite that... and why does it feel like he's somehow lost a battle he wasn't even aware he was fighting? Not the debate— he expected to be beaten there— but something else. ]
Is there really a need to discuss it further? [ Even as he says that, he thinks he knows Alhaitham's answer. He's reasonably confident that the scribe would discuss anything until someone physically removed his larynx. ] I thought this whole thing was to identify a usable terminology for you, and haven't we agreed on one? I know you were particularly eager earlier to hear my suggestions, but knowing your disinclination for rhetoric, I doubt any of them would be useful to you... Unless you'd like to hear them anyway.
[ It's tempting, too. Maybe he'll find a term that will actually somehow get under his roommate's skin in the way "fucking" doesn't.
He doubts it, but wouldn't it be fun if such a turn of phrase existed?
(Kaveh hasn't yet cottoned onto the fact that "making love" might actually be the closest thing to what he's looking for.) ]
No, we can stop talking about it. This was always a diversion that I was entertaining since you wanted to talk about it so much, Kaveh.
[ If there was a moment for a record scratch to go off, this would be it. Alhaitham is about to make like a character in a certain genre of visual novels and, knowing that he's successfully debuffed Kaveh's fortitude by arguing him down on one topic, is about to reveal what his real agenda was all along.
He half-crosses his arms across his chest, leaning back in his seat and tilting his head forward — even his body language is getting aggressive here, so he's clearly planning to go all in. ]
After all, you've been deflecting quite impressively for quite some time now. But I still haven't heard a proper answer to the question that I've been getting at since the very beginning of this conversation. Why did you indirectly give me condoms, Kaveh? And before you say that you've already answered... let's not fall back on technicality or rhetoric here. The fact of the matter is that I still don't understand why, and you have done your best to maintain a certain level of ambiguity around your actions. That clearly implies that there's something you don't want to say.
[ Alhaitham's holding Kaveh's gaze in a way that suggests that if Kaveh tries to look away, Alhaitham is going to implicitly take it as an admission of guilt. ]
Given that you've been hanging on for so long, though, I don't expect that you'll give in just because I've returned to the point. So let me offer an initial hypothesis, and you can refute it if you'd like. You want to know who, if anybody, I'm interested in fucking.
[ He hopes Kaveh is so pleased that they've landed on this verbiage together. Alhaitham sure is going to weaponize each and every one of the "fuck"s that leave his mouth from here on out. ]
[ It's when Alhaitham changes topic, leans back with those half-crossed arms that Kaveh starts to realize that he's quite possibly walked himself into a trap. But it's not until the question is asked again that he recognizes what that trap actually is— and even now, there's enough indignation in his own internal response that he's yet to entirely piece together just how dangerous of a pitfall it is. ]
I— absolutely not—
[ The protest is hot on his tongue and under his skin. The accusation is completely, entirely unfounded; he has after all already explained himself, and just because Alhaitham doesn't understand his motive doesn't mean that it's inadequate. It was nothing more than a stupid prank, a way of messing with the scribe and trying to get under his skin, to somehow make him uncomfortable or uncertain. And just because he can practically hear the other man's voice in his head already, informing him in that infuriatingly calm voice that his emotion over the issue belies a deeper truth, it does not make it true—
Ah, fuck.
At this point, there's no denying it, is there? Not even to himself.
It's all he can take not to drop his eyes from the other's challenging stare. He already knows how Alhaitham will interpret it if he looks away. Instead, he keeps his own expression as steady as possible as he replies, trying to make it sound like it's no big deal at all: ]
An interesting hypothesis, to be sure. I'm not sure I can agree with you that it was my initial purpose, but let's work under the assumption for the time being that it was. It is, after all, an interesting question. Would you, hypothetically, blame me for my curiosity?
[ (and Archons help him because Alhaitham's casual use of the term "fucking" is no longer funny to him at all, and Kaveh is regretting every move he's made in the last several hours) ]
[ Kaveh's rejection of his hypothesis hardly bothers him — that's why it's only a hypothesis, after all. He's just picked what he thought was a good starting point and is now going to subject Kaveh to his preferred academic approach: a cycle of questioning and revising. ]
Your curiosity? No. But I would take issues with your methodology. If we hold my initial hypothesis true, then you could have resolved your curiosity much more efficiently by asking directly. I don't have any reason to conceal information from you on who I'm fucking or not.
[ Or interested in fucking, et cetera. Alhaitham will spare Kaveh from being totally overwhelmed with all the fucks that he has to (verbally) give. ]
That said... while you are impulsive at times, you generally act in a way that's consistent with your own system of beliefs. So I'm inclined to believe that you felt there was a good reason to take an indirect approach instead.
[ And that's true in general, not just in the moment — Alhaitham might have plenty of bones to pick with Kaveh's beliefs and values and the way he expresses them, but he can respect that Kaveh has beliefs and values that guide his actions. That's more than he feels like he can say about a lot of people, for whatever that's worth. ]
This is all assuming my hypothesis is correct, though. The bigger issue is whether it is or isn't. If you aren't interesting in confirming or denying it, then should I take this as more deflection, or are you open to disclosing your thoughts on the matter?
[ The first of Alhaitham's comments is very nearly met with an irritated little huff. Quite frankly, Kaveh had a very good reason for being indirect, and how dare he presume otherwise— never mind, he's acknowledging in the very next moment the fact that the architect must have had a reason consistent with his own beliefs.
It's actually reasons, plural, but for this particular discussion, only one of them is important. And he's about to make the argument around which that reason is centered when the question comes again, and Kaveh's arms fold across his chest, a defensive posture at best compared to the scribe's more forceful one. After all, he's essentially being needled on the topic at this point... ]
Seeing as we both know you're not going to let it go until I do offer a statement as to how correct you are, have it your way: your hypothesis is accurate.
[ He hates it when Alhaitham is right. ]
As to why I chose an indirect approach... for as much as you say it would be more efficient for me to ask you directly, I think we can both agree your answer would have been to look at me as if I'd grown a second head. My theory is that beginning the conversation in a more creative way lessened your inclination to ignore me on the topic.
[ The other reason is that he's pretty sure any answer will leave him jealous, and Kaveh has never been good at concealing his emotions. But that's one he doesn't need or want to say in this moment— or, preferably, at all. ]
Well, you're obviously wrong about that, because you still haven't heard an answer from me, even after all the trouble you've went through. If anything... your reason is clearly in contradiction with the rest of our conversation.
[ Alhaitham doesn't feel like playing with his food, so he'll spare Kaveh the agony of being jerked around with leading questions like, "Do you know what I'm getting at?" — he feels like he's pretty close to pushing Kaveh over the edge and forcing whatever mysterious thoughts in his head that he's concealing out. He's finally gonna get that brain sample he's wanted all along! ]
If you recall... you asked me something along the lines of, 'Would you feel uncomfortable talking about fucking someone, Alhaitham?' to which I answered that if we're discussing it in the context of it being an intimacy directly related to one of us, then no, I wouldn't have any issues with talking about fucking someone. At that point, it was mutually understood that I would be willing to disclose that sort of information. But you didn't ask. Why is that?
[ Alhaitham understands that Kaveh can be stubborn, but he's most often stubborn over ideals and values — and more than that, Kaveh is a quick thinker, pays attention to details, and is shameless enough to immediately revise his stance in the face of receiving new information, especially when it's for the sake of trying to argue Alhaitham down. All-in-all, Alhaitham can't help but think that Kaveh hasn't been considering things as clearly as he would have been if their conversation centered around any other topic — but that brings up a whole host of other questions. ]
I'll lay out another hypothesis. [ From his tone, Alhaitham is definitely treating this like he just said he'll play a round of chess with Kaveh and handicap himself by playing without a queen. ] You wanted to create a circumstance of information asymmetry. You'd like to know something about me... without revealing anything about yourself. That would give you an advantage in that you'd be able to make better decisions with a superior view of the overall situation. Am I close?
[ Alhaitham might have chosen to play without a queen, but he's still somehow brought Kaveh to a place where there's maybe only one or two ways of moving his own pieces without finding himself in checkmate— and right now, he's not sure he can see that path. He feels like his arms can't get tighter over his chest, and if it weren't for the fact that he's taken a seated position here, he feels like he'd be at very real risk of backing away. There's no doubt in his own mind that he hasn't considered any part of this nearly as carefully as he should have— But it's too late for that, and he can see from that calm expression that this isn't a discussion out of which he'll easily be able to extract himself.
Besides, as far as he's concerned, Alhaitham is being unfair. Would he like to know more about his closed-off, impossible-to-read roommate? Sure. Would he like to know those things without his own attraction to said roommate becoming part of their shared knowledge? Absolutely. But that doesn't mean that it's part of his reasoning on each and every single action he takes—
Never mind that this particular set of actions does seem to indicate as such.
His frown deepens. This whole thing is so frustrating. ]
I didn't ask because it would have been rude to stop mid-discussion to ask, Alhaitham. That's all. Or would you have preferred I do exactly that?
[ It's abrupt, the way he stands up and whirls around, all flair and drama, hands flat on the desk so he can lean forward, crimson eyes narrowed in an irritated glare at the other man's expense. ]
If that's what you want, why don't we pause the debate right now? Go on, Alhaitham. If you have no problem telling me who you want to fuck, do it.
I did give you the opportunity to lead with a new topic, but you tried to end the conversation instead.
[ Is this what Kaveh really wants? A life with a guy who's constantly giving off a vibe like, "Yeah, I know. I was about five parallel dimensions ahead of you this whole time."
Except really Alhaitham wasn't, at least when it came to what was debatably the crux of the matter. It doesn't take a genius to know that one has to be exceptionally cautious about changing your relationship with somebody who's as close to you as a roommate and a long-time ""friend"" (debatable), and so Alhaitham has been treating this all very, very carefully. In an indirect sort of way, it might speak to how seriously he's been considering all the possibilities that he's been able to press the conversation as hard as he has been.
It's in the way that Kaveh responds that he goes from being uncertain about the chances that Kaveh's done all this in an odd attempt to send some signals to thinking that he at least has gambling odds. Because if Kaveh didn't have a vested interest in Alhaitham's answer, then Alhaitham thinks that he would have simply denied it, said that Alhaitham was overthinking it, or questioned why Alhaitham posited that he'd want to create the circumstances in the first place. Alhaitham knows that Kaveh is the type who wears his heart on his sleeve and finds it difficult to convincingly misrepresent his true feelings, so the fact that he dodged entirely suggests to Alhaitham that his hypothesis is more or less true... and certainly, one reason you'd want to know if somebody has a crush without revealing anything on your own is to figure out if you've got a shot. Not the only one, but Alhaitham has eliminated enough competing explanations through the course of the conversation that he's willing to take a risk on it being the correct one.
All this to say: if Kaveh is perturbed that Alhaitham seems completely unruffled by his lurch forward, it's because Alhaitham's mind is already moving onto the metaphorical endgame. ]
Let's see if you can guess, then. He has a great deal of intelligence, but can be too impulsive to make good use of it. He's argumentative, but isn't skilled at arguing. And—
[ It's with equal abruptness that Alhaitham uncrosses his arms and mirrors Kaveh's actions, closing the gap between them without hesitation. At close quarters, Kaveh might notice a very, very subtle shift in his expression that just screams cat that got the canary. ]
He should think things through before putting his condoms in unexpected places.
[ He doesn't bother confirming Alhaitham's comment, or trying to deny it for that matter— they both after all know that it's exactly what he did. Has tried to do a few times today in fact, whether it's because he's trying to play his cards close to his chest or simply because he's stubborn... or maybe a mix of both. Either way, in all his concerns about not playing his hand too soon, he's let several of the key cards slip for Alhaitham's viewing pleasure—
(and at some point this became a poker metaphor instead of a chess metaphor)
—and unbeknownst to him the other man now knows exactly what he's holding. Information asymmetry indeed, and not in the way Kaveh intended... Or, somehow, even suspected.
And so he's really not expecting the way Alhaitham mirrors his movements across the table, telling him with a disturbing amount of confidence— smugness, in fact— about who he wants to fuck, and it's all Kaveh can do to stand there and take it, head reeling with the thoughts that this really, seriously, honestly would have been so much easier if he'd just asked the fucking question.
(But then again, if he had, he wouldn't get to see this look on Alhaitham's face now, would he?) ]
...You are such an asshole.
[ There's no malice in the words, said as they are with a slight smirk of Kaveh's own— or it's meant to be a smirk, even if it's outlined a little too intently with something akin to relief— and he lifts a hand, fingers curling around the cord of Alhaitham's headphones as if they'll somehow give him any leverage to pull the other closer. ]
How long have you known?
[ Because he knows the scribe too well to assume that he took a chance on this without being incredibly, almost doubtlessly, positive that it wouldn't turn into something awkward and uncomfortable between the two of them. ]
[ Alhaitham lets himself be pulled forward regardless, it seems fair to play along given that he did just subject Kaveh to the mental rollercoaster of a lifetime. Unfortunately, he is not yet done being himself. ]
Know is a strong word, and the answer to that would be "just now". [ But he's pretty sure the spirit of the question isn't literal, so... ] I did make it known early on that I was trying to figure out what to do with those condoms, which I'd thought would signal that it was a possibility in my mind.
[ In the future, Alhaitham is going to have a story to tell about how he gave Kaveh about 5 separate opportunities to admit, "I'm trying to FLIRT! Hello?!" and refused to take any of them, so Alhaitham performed an interrogation so thorough that the matra should hire him to give seminars. Then again, it's not as if he doesn't understand Kaveh's hesitance to commit without being fairly sure about the outcome, so maybe he'll save this one for well after the wounds have closed... ]
So, then, do you care to stick with your original answer?
[ Naturally, the response is met with a roll of Kaveh's eyes. Even like this, with the two of them so close that he can practically taste the scribe's words on his breath, Alhaitham is being an arrogant prick about the entire thing. It's all he can do to not just grab him by the stupidly-oversized collar of his and crush their mouths together in a kiss— but somehow that feels like conceding yet another victory to the other man, and quite frankly his pride needs him to win one round.
So he stays close, but doesn't move closer, doesn't draw Alhaitham closer either, just fixes ruby eyes on emerald and shakes his head, a slow, deliberate movement.
Does he want to stick with his original answer? Fuck no. ]
I put the condoms in your book— [ and his voice is lower than usual, deep and husky with a desire that has simmered unseen for a painfully long time now ] —because I want you to fuck me.
[ It's more than just that, of course. He wants to do a lot of things with the scribe, and getting fucked is just one of those things. But more words will just spoil the high tension of the moment, slow the fluttering pulse in his wrist and soften the breath he knows is just a little too hard. There's time for words later— and for Kaveh, that's saying a lot. ]
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