[ But he is, and having it called out so bluntly stops him in his tracks, halts him from repeating it, the guilt twisting like a knife.
Of course he's lying. He hasn't been fine for— for a while, and lately it just seems to be getting worse.
Oh, but he hates this. Tighnari sees through him so easily, the same way he himself sees through the walls that other people put up. And to think he considers himself good at at hiding the deepest of his feelings, the guilt and shame that threaten constantly to swallow him whole. As far as he knows, there's no one other than Alhaitham who knows the worst of it— although according to said roommate, he himself has spilled the truth of his residential status to anyone who'll listen— and yet his vulpine friend talks to him with an understanding that churns something deep in his gut.
He closes his eyes against the burning feeling, taking another stabilizing breath or two— or three— as he tries to find the right words to answer his friend. ]
What... what path do you think I'm going down?
[ The coward's way out, perhaps. But he wouldn't be where he was right now if he didn't put up some sort of a fight. ]
no subject
[ But he is, and having it called out so bluntly stops him in his tracks, halts him from repeating it, the guilt twisting like a knife.
Of course he's lying. He hasn't been fine for— for a while, and lately it just seems to be getting worse.
Oh, but he hates this. Tighnari sees through him so easily, the same way he himself sees through the walls that other people put up. And to think he considers himself good at at hiding the deepest of his feelings, the guilt and shame that threaten constantly to swallow him whole. As far as he knows, there's no one other than Alhaitham who knows the worst of it— although according to said roommate, he himself has spilled the truth of his residential status to anyone who'll listen— and yet his vulpine friend talks to him with an understanding that churns something deep in his gut.
He closes his eyes against the burning feeling, taking another stabilizing breath or two— or three— as he tries to find the right words to answer his friend. ]
What... what path do you think I'm going down?
[ The coward's way out, perhaps. But he wouldn't be where he was right now if he didn't put up some sort of a fight. ]