indigently | { 𝒯𝒽𝑒 𝒢𝑜𝓁𝒹𝑒𝓃 𝒫𝑒𝒶𝒸𝑜𝒸𝓀 } 𝐼𝒞 𝒾𝓃𝒷𝑜𝓍 🏛️

For you, I might. In private.

[Alhaitham is not an exhibitionist and has no intentions of becoming one for the sake of Kaveh's whims, but if the man wants to see him shirtless while it's just the two of them..? He doesn't see the harm. Kaveh has already seen far more of him than his bare chest.

With his belt discarded and his trousers quickly following Alhaitham finally shifts closer to the other man and kisses him again, bare skin on bare skin as they press together. He slides one firm thigh up between Kaveh's legs, biting gently against the man's lower lip and then smiling a little.]

Tell me what you like.

[ The pleasant heat in Kaveh's cheeks only intensifies at the promise of Alhaitham doing something just for him, just the two of them, in private like this. It's not something he really should take pleasure in, not with how contentious their friendship can sometimes be, and yet..

Mm. Who cares? The blonde's brain is quick to banish the thought when the younger man shifts out of his trousers and brings himself in close again to kiss him, eagerly returning the pressure of his lips— and gasping an answer when his lip is bitten at the same time as a knee slides up between his thighs.

That smile—

And those words, asking a question Kaveh's not entirely sure he can answer, because...

On one side, perhaps, he's still learning these things for himself in some ways, and too hesitant to say what it is he's wanting to try. The reverse of that is that his body seems to like everything Alhaitham does anyway, so.

Though... there is that one thing, which...

Kaveh's nose wrinkles. ]

Promise me you won't laugh.

[Promise he won't laugh?

Alhaitham's eyebrows lift slightly. He does wonder on which occasion Kaveh has ever actually heard him outright laugh at anything he said, though he does realise that the other man may not actually mean it literally. He makes a soft sound, shifting away and straightening up a little.]

I promise I won't laugh.

[And maybe those words, that phrasing, would sound a bit strange coming from him... but it seems to be important, and even more strangely, he finds that it is important for him to know the answer.]

[ It is perhaps a silly request. Kaveh knows, deep down, that Alhaitham will never laugh at him. It's just not who he is as a person, not whom he has ever been. But the anxiety runs high in his veins regardless— and that's the person Kaveh has always been— and so he still stumbles over it, still hesitates over the words even as he's given the promise. ]

I... like it when— um. I guess I like praise. Nice things being said to me.

[ His eyes shift to the side, cheeks heating with fresh embarrassment. ]

I also like it when I don't have to think. [ A pause as, not for the first time, he amends that to be more honest: ] When I'm not able to think.

[ He knows that saying all of this is giving Alhaitham a lot of power, but... he asked. ]

[There isn't so much as a single glimmer of surprise on Alhaitham's face as Kaveh speaks. What he knows of the man makes it all to obvious that praise would be something he would enjoy, though it would seem he has less issue with accepting it when it happens in the bedroom.

... Figures.]

You know well enough that I'm not someone who gives false praise.

[Or much praise at all, usually. He doesn't think he could do it under these circumstances without it feeling far too awkward, but as luck would have it when it comes to Kaveh, he doesn't really find a need to pretend.

He pauses a moment, letting his attention travel over Kaveh's body.]

So when I tell you that I like how you look, you know I mean it.

I know.

[ The answer is quick on Kaveh's lips, and as soft as his expression as his eyes settle on Alhaitham's face again. It's true that he has less issue accepting praise when it's in the bedroom, and yet even with that being true, and even knowing what he does, was he not still hesitant over the other's statement that he looks good as he is now?

And he wonders if the younger man thinks Kaveh doesn't trust him. Which isn't true— ]

If I sound like I'm doubting you, I'm.. I'm not. Not you. I just... You know how I am, it's—

[ He falls silent for a moment, and the look he offers the other man is soft and pleading and frustrated, not at the situation but at himself. ]

Please come here.

[ Just make his brain shut up— ]

[Alhaitham sighs softly as he moves in close.]

I know how you are.

[And he does, doesn't he? He knows how Kaveh is. All the difficult, complicated facets of his personality, the way he responds to situations, how he acts when faced with a challenge. He knows Kaveh inside and out and not only because of how long they have been acquainted or because they have lived together but because Kaveh, for Alhaitham, is easy to read.

He slides a hand up one of Kaveh's arms as he kisses him again. His fingertips press across the man's palm, then their fingers lace together as he presses that hand gently against the pillows.

Alhaitham's lips part, as if he's going to make a comment, but then they close again as he thinks better of it and only smiles faintly before giving the blond man's hand a faint squeeze. He kisses him once more before sitting back to remove his underwear, idly tossing it over the side of the bed once he has.

Pretty or not, it was still in the way.]

Ready?

[He is. Alhaitham knows he is. He's been ready and the scribe doesn't tease him by waiting for a response. The lube is found easily - the same place - and he holds Kaveh's hips steady with one hand while he rubs two slicked fingers slowly against his entrance.

Maybe a little teasing.]

[ Alhaitham sighs out that comment, and for as much as it's not censure, it feels like it, just like it always does. Kaveh's cheeks flush an angry red, and his eyes dart sideways, an angry retort on his lips that is bitten off when those fingers press over his palm, lips against his in silent offering. That's always been the problem, hasn't it? Kaveh, who desires so badly not to be seen, is seen by Alhaitham, right down to the very heart of him.

It's what made him walk away from their friendship, it's what has him even now hold the younger man at arm's length every time he shows an inkling of care. It's always been the only way to protect himself—

And yet here he is, spread willingly under the other, unable to do anything but accept him... all of his own choice.

The kiss is a welcome distraction— it doesn't last anywhere near long enough, but with his arms connected to the headrail, there's not much he can do about it other than pout. It's a pout too that has more meanings than the one, because the scribe is being something of a tease, rubbing those two fingers against him in a way that has the blonde squirming, a stuttered out whine on his lips. ]

Isn't it obvious? [ he bites out, and he knows the answer is yes, knows Alhaitham knows and is teasing him anyway. ] Of course I'm ready.

[It feels... different.

It's different already. Far removed from the times they have been thrown together by their desperate, driven urges but even, too, from the other times, when it was almost because they wanted to.

Almost, but not quite. Not like this deliberate choice.

There could be said to be the faintest quirk of a smile as Alhaitham concedes, curling his index finger in to his palm and pressing the middle finger inside. He seems to watch for a moment, as if fascinated, then turns his attention to kisses.

Kissing Kaveh is turning out to be a very enjoyable pastime.]

If I let your hands go, what would you do? [He questions quietly as his finger curls in deep, looking for just the right spot.]

[ The flush on his cheeks shows no signs of abating as Alhaitham's eyes appear to be trained on his own actions, Kaveh biting back a low, soft moan at the sensation of that finger pushing into him. The kisses help, giving him something to focus on and ground himself with, and he returns them with a sort of abandon as his heart picks up in his chest, almost pounding with the sensations.

And then the scribe is breaking the kisses to ask questions, and the blonde is blinking in overwhelmed confusion, frustration curving his lips downward for the barest of moments before the brush of that curved finger finds exactly the right spot and has a moan sneaking out of him unbidden, eyelids fluttering as he peers up at Alhaitham in silence for a moment or two.

What would he do? What wouldn't he do— ]

I'd touch you. [ His voice is low. Hushed and trembling. ] Take my time exploring you and.. mm, and find the places you like the most. That feel the best for you too. And I'd... kiss you more often too— sometimes I want to kiss you but you're sitting up and I can't—

[ He stops, almost abruptly, before he can ramble too much more. ]

[When he's already learned his way around Kaveh's body, finding that spot is all too easy. He doesn't put too much pressure there but circles slowly around and over it as he moves his finger in and out, already feeling the way the man is loosening and relaxing around that one digit.]

Hm...

[He notices how Kaveh almost seems to cut himself off. How he retreats from that thought before he can finish it. And he wonders...

Dismisses the thought.

He can move away less.]

Once I'm done with you... do you think you'll still have the energy to take me?

[It's less a question and more like an offer as he teases a second finger alongside the first and eases it in.]

[ Less a question, more an offer, almost a challenge in Kaveh's addled mind, especially as his mind continues to try and find ways to put walls between the two of them despite the fact that they're very much naked together in his bed. His hips roll down against the pleasure being offered to him, gasping and almost whining at the sensation of that finger ghosting over such a pleasurable point, and then again as a second is added.

He's forced to take a moment to catch his breath, but then he nods. ]

I will. Even if I have to rest for a few minutes first.

[ Another breath, another roll of his hips against those fingers. ]

Are you— mm, are you finding you have a preference?

A preference?

[It takes him a moment to understand, distracted as he is right now, but even then he doesn't immediately answer. A preference..?

Truth be told he hasn't thought about it much. There are a couple of things he's found that he does enjoy more than others, but when it comes down to it it seems to be more about the person he's with than anything else. He gives a small shake of his head.]

Not really. [But, this. The slow arch of Kaveh's body as it reacts to the stimulation. How his breathing shivers and his voice shakes as he tries to speak. The little moans between words. Alhaitham has already realised that he likes that, but also that he likes it because it's Kaveh, not because he enjoys those things in isolation.

If it was anyone else, would he care that much? He knows himself well enough to realise that he wouldn't.

His fingers slide in deep again, a slick and wet sound accompanying the motion, but Alhaitham is not listening. His mouth is on Kaveh's again, lips parting and their tongues curling together. He shifts his thigh up between the older man's legs to give him something to grind against.]

[ He's ready to explain, but the words seem to clear in Alhaitham's head in the next few moments anyway, an answer on his lips that has Kaveh nod even as his body arches again, the words unable to find his mouth for a moment or two. He probably should acknowledge the other's answer, but he's taken too fast by the press of lips against his, a soft sigh and his tongue arching in answer, a pleased shudder running down his spine.

He takes the offer of the younger's thigh, too, hips rolling down in a way that his cock drags heavy against it, eliciting a whine that disappears into the tangle of their tongues. There's a soft jingle as his wrists tug unbidden against their bonds, his body trying to follow through on its natural urge to wind arms around him, to pull him close as they kiss.

It's different this time somehow, Kaveh can feel that too— and perhaps that's why his brain is fighting him so much, trying to build barricades wherever it can. Before, his self-protection came from the fact that they needed to, but this time... ]

[Alhaitham shifts in turn, a subtle roll of his thigh against the twitch of Kaveh's hips working in counterpoint to the steady thrust of fingers inside him. How it feels this time, the difference, is something that the younger man allows to wash over him, pushing a few pieces into place.

He pulls back, briefly kisses Kaveh's lips again, then deliberately rolls his fingertips over the man's prostate.]

Good boy. [Alhaitham murmurs gently. He is not one for false or insincere praise and has been quietly thinking his way through how he might like to present it, how Kaveh might like to hear it from him, and he thinks he can make it work.

The tone is a soft, sincere one as he speaks into the small space between their lips.]

You're doing so well for me. [Their eyes meet. He softly bumps the tips of their noses together.] So well-behaved.

[ The moments pass; between Alhaitham's thigh against his arousal, his fingers thrusting inside him, their lips working over each other's mouths, there's enough pleasure that Kaveh's brain can finally disconnect from all the worries and the pressure, allowing him to finally just sink into the moment and enjoy it fully. He's not even consciously aware of the shift in his own body, but it's there, pliant under the younger's touches and desperate for more.

Good boy, Alhaitham says then, and the bliss of release comes to an abrupt halt, Kaveh's eyes opening— and opening wide. A new flush of red works over his cheeks, dying them crimson as his body tightens in pleasure, a whimper on his lips as he clenches down around those fingers, dizzyingly close to an orgasm from those words alone.

Oh, fuck. This is a power he should never have introduced Alhaitham to, isn't it? ]

I— I— um.

[The movement of his fingers slows at the abrupt tightening around them. Alhaitham's breath softly catches, as if he's surprised by the impact that such simple words had even if he felt a little awkward in saying them. A faint flush touches his cheeks in turn as he meets Kaveh's widened eyes.

And it isn't as if he has never been close enough to the other man to notice the colour of his eyes before. He could pick the shade off a swatch if he had to, along with the man's hair colour and his preferences in clothing. The colour of them is not new to him but what is new is the sensation that flushes through him as that colour all but fills his vision.

It isn't just the one thing. A combination of everything rolls together. Alhaitham lightly cups the side of Kaveh's jaw and speaks softly, sincerely.]

Your eyes are beautiful.

[ At any other time, he'd accuse Alhaitham of being facetious. But everything being as it is, he knows that the other is being entirely serious, even as those fingers cup his jaw, as the younger man tells him softly that his eyes are beautiful.

His eyes—

Another tremor passes through him, another physical tightening of his muscles down around those fingers, even slowed as they are now. A soft whine forms on his lips, and he can't quite help the way his head tosses to the side, an instinctive rejection of the compliment offered to him by the other man. ]

N-no, no I— stop that..

[ The words are muttered, an attempt to get away from the situation that doesn't follow his own rules— not once is the name of his magnum opus even thought of, much less spoken into being. Just something else he'll have cause to wonder about later. ]

Look at me.

[The way his fingers push in deeply is almost like a scolding punishment and he holds the stinging pressure there for a moment before he moves them again. His free hand guides Kaveh's head back around and although he feels something in the pit of his stomach jolt at the word 'stop' he remembers what they spoke of earlier.

Is this like that, then? Kaveh knows the word to use if he really wants things to halt. Alhaitham isn't sure how he feels about it but shakes that uncertainty off for the moment. There's no harm in what they're doing now.]

They are. I've never considered it before. [He pauses, then lightly kisses him again. His heart races almost painfully in his chest, sticking in his throat.] You're beautiful.

[ Kaveh gasps aloud at the sensation of the deep push stopping right then and there, but his gaze remains averted until Alhaitham's hand guides him back, makes him meet his eyes again even as he'd rather hide, and Kaveh's heart, the traitorous bitch it is, skips a beat.

Not just his eyes, now, but him too? Kaveh doesn't feel beautiful, what with his mussed hair and blown-out eyes and ruddied red cheeks. His voice dies in his throat before he can argue though, pressing up into the kiss even as he feels breathless, closing his eyes against the tears he can feel prickling at their corners. ]

I.. Alhaitham, you—

[ For the first time in years, the exclamation of "you" on Kaveh's tongue is not made with a tone laced in anger. Rather, it's shaken and unsure, overwhelmed by the sensations and the words both. ]

You don't have to—

I know.

[He interrupts smoothly, quietly, cutting Kaveh off with another kiss. His chest aches again, strangely, and the briefest consideration that this entire thing was a mistake flits through his mind before it is just as quickly dismissed. He doesn't think so. Maybe it was something that they both needed.

Alhaitham glances up at where Kaveh's hands are cuffed up to the headrail, and decides that he doesn't like that right now. The older man would find his wrists released, and the scribe lightly guiding one of his arms up around him.]

I want you to hold on to me.

[His hand goes back to Kaveh's face, cradling it gently as he carefully adds a third finger to the two already thrusting into him.]

... I want to see your face when you fall apart.

[ Alhaitham barely has to guide Kaveh's arm— the moment he feels the cuffs release around his wrists, the blonde is moving both arms to wrap them around the younger's shoulders, all but clinging to him just in time for the other to say that's what he wants.

He answers the other's statement with a low moan, one half inspired by his words and half by the addition a third finger, his hips rutting down against the intrusion.

His breath quickens, and his eyes open once more to look up into Alhaitham's face, revealing the sheen of wet over them even as his look gains a hint of desperation, a bite of his lower lip. ]

Please— please tell me you don't intend to do that just with your fingers.

[He really does have the most brilliant eyes, Alhaitham thinks idly. It isn't that he's never noticed before...

The younger man realises his thoughts are repeating and draws himself back to the present, lightly smoothing his thumb across Kaveh's cheek. He exhales a soft, breathy chuckle.]

If you climax from just this, then it's fine... [It seems he might intend just that as he slowly spreads his fingers inside the man and then rubs up against that spot again. Something in the back of his mind is impatient, but he doesn't let it take over.]

We don't have to stop if you do.

[ At a different time, in a different place, Kaveh can see himself teasing Alhaitham for his dry way of speaking about something so passionate. But right now, he doesn't have it in him— largely because for some reason, that same dry way of speaking is doing something to him right now.

His lips part to attempt to stage a protest, but then fingers press over that one damn spot again, and he cries out instead, head tilting back against the pillow, eyelids fluttering and draping over his eyes as he whines. ]

Alhaitham—

[ Fuck. Fuck, he's so close, and it feels like they've barely started, and Alhaitham is right here, and being so nice, and— ]

I'm right here.

[He might get better at it over time. Alhaitham is not someone incapable of passion and emotion, as Kaveh well knows, but it tends to be viewed as a complication that he would rather just keep out of his life entirely.

Though, at one time, he would have said the same of what he's doing right now. Some things have changed quickly here.

He doesn't think that Kaveh will last even if they move on quickly now and so, rather than do that, he curls his fingers in again and aims for that same spot inside that made him moan like that.]

Just let it happen, Kaveh.

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