𝒪𝓅𝑒𝓃 𝓅𝑜𝓈𝓉 🏛️

[indigently]

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action • text • canon • cross-canon • assumed cr

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[sapio]

Desperate times call for desperate measures.

1/2

[indigently]

Alhaitham don't you dare

2/2

[indigently]

That's GOOD WINE

[sapio]

I can always buy some more.

[indigently]

But why waste it when water would serve exactly the same purpose???

[sapio]

I would have to get up to get water.

[indigently]

[ Oh no. He's up against Alhaitham's sloth— never a good thing when he wants the scribe to do what he wants. He doesn't have a lot of options; and there's no way he's going back out there. Again: man-bun, moisturizer.

Hmm. ]

Wine will stain. And attract bugs.

[sapio]

[At this point, it's just a challenge to make Kaveh come out of the room, manbun and all.]

So it will have to be cleaned later.

[indigently]

[ He knows what Alhaitham is doing. He's pretty sure he knows what Alhaitham is doing. He hopes he knows what Alhaitham is doing.

(What if he's wrong?) ]

Alhaitham I swear to Lesser Lord Kusanali herself that if you spray wine all over the living room, I will not clean it up!!!

[sapio]

Of course, I won't.

[A beat.]

I'm pouring it, and only on top of those two.

[indigently]

[ With each second that passes, Kaveh's inner narrative becomes less and less confident, which in turn leads to him becoming less and less concerned with his appearance, and more and more to the mess that his jerk of a roommate is apparently about to make of the living room.

Alhaitham's text doesn't help, either— in fact, it does the opposite, and in a scant few seconds after sending it, the scribe will hear Kaveh's door slam open, the stomping of bare feet on the floorboards before the blonde bursts out of the hallway and into the living room— ]

Alhaitham—!!!

[ —where the silver-haired scribe is sitting, book in one hand and wine in the other, drinking and not throwing it everywhere like he had threatened to. Meanwhile, Tighnari and Cyno are still making out on the sofa, somehow undisturbed by the cacophony.

Kaveh's steps grind to a halt, and for a second he just stands there, looking between the pair and Alhaitham, lips working like a guppy's— and between the fact that his hair is piled on his head in a messy bun, the sheen of moisturizer on his face, and the fact that he's clad only in a pair of black, satin lounge pants, he probably looks insanely ridiculous— more so, as his brows crease over his ruby eyes in anger. ]

You...! You— you asshole!

[sapio]

[At this point, he's counting seconds. Nine, ten, eleven…

And there he is, in all his self-care glory.

Alhaitham's lip twitches.] How am I an asshole? I'm merely doing what you told me to do.

[indigently]

[ For a moment, Kaveh just stares at Alhaitham in irritated silence. In his mind, there is nothing about this image that is what he told the other man to do. He's not, at the very least, actually pouring or spraying the wine over the two on the couch—

Archons, he can hear the wet of their lips from here.

Kaveh reaches out, long fingers wrapping seamlessly around Alhaitham's wrist. ]

If we've given up on chasing them out, let's sit in my room and drink the rest of this together. I can't keep standing out here listening.

[ He can finish yelling at the other man anywhere, anyway. ]

[sapio]

[The moment he switches off his headphones, the sounds that the couple is making finally make themselves known and Alhaitham can't help the slight slant of his eyebrows. He was not expecting Cyno to be the one to make more noise, though, objectively speaking, he supposes that Tighnari may enjoy it with those ears of his—

He's withdrawn out of his own observational spree by Kaveh's hand around his wrist and tugging. The world seems to sway a bit as he gets up, his free hand grasping the book he was reading.]

I thought you had stopped drinking.

[indigently]

[ If the world seems to sway for Alhaitham, it's because— Kaveh is reasonably sure— Alhaitham is swaying, just a little. The blonde has sobered up enough by this point that he's able to react with relative speed, a supportive arm looping through the scribe's to anchor him. And they stand like that for a moment, Kaveh letting Alhaitham get his bearings again as he jerks his head in the general direction of the couple on the couch, the displeasure written all over his face.

(Next time the four of them drink together, it needs to be at Tighnari's place, or.. or just anywhere else. Never again will he make the mistake of asking Alhaitham to invite the two of them back here—) ]

That was the plan. But right now, I'll happily drink myself into a coma to forget— [ a loose wave of his hand in their general direction ] —this. Come on.

[ And once he's sure enough that Alhaitham can move without falling, he'll start back toward his room. ]

[sapio]

Don't forget the bottle, then. [Is all Alhaitham says before he rightens himself up, padding as though lazily into Kaveh's bedroom, sitting on the chair at the corner as he flips the pages to where he last read. ]

[indigently]

Alhaitham—!

[ Gods, what a jerk— Kaveh finds himself muttering under his breath. Far from letting the blonde help him, or even thinking to bring the bottle himself, he just straightens up and walks off like he hasn't a care in the world, leaving Kaveh alone in the room with... well.

He's not even surprised when, following him a few moments later with the bottle in hand, he finds Alhaitham having made himself completely at home.

Kaveh closes his door, and finally he can no longer hear the litany of sounds from Cyno's mouth. ]

Who would've thought Cyno would be the noisy one— [ he mutters, not even realizing he's echoing Alhaitham's earlier thought, and he perches on the edge of his bed, taking a long hit from the bottle. ] You'll have to make me some headphones of my own for next time we drink with them.

[sapio]

My assumption is that he's doing it for Tighnari. [He replies, finding the page he last read, using, ironically, a pressed leaf as a bookmark for the page itself, lest he loses it again.

He arches an eyebrow, though it's covered by the mass of gray hair falling over his eye.] That's new, considering you tend to complain about my headphones.

[indigently]

Ugh. [ He says it with feeling, a visible shudder passing through his body at the thought. He loves his friends, loves them dearly, but tonight has just been too much.

He sighs— and then rolls his eyes in response to Alhaitham's comment. ]

Of course I do; they're annoying when you wear them to shut me out! [ Another swig of the wine, and then Kaveh reaches out, offering it to the other. ] But. I really, really didn't need to know what Cyno sounds like when he moans.

[sapio]

[He reaches for the bottle without thought, though he stares at it for a moment or two as his mind wars against the fuzzy, tipsy part of him that tells him that one more sip isn't going to hurt.

He tips the bottle up, taking a swig. Wiping the corner of his mouth with a thumb and sucking on the pad. Hands the bottle over to Kaveh.] It was a matter of time. They are, apparently, in the so-called 'Honeymoon phase'.

[A shrug. There's no use crying over traumatized eardrums.]

[indigently]

[ His nose wrinkles in distaste at the comment "honeymoon phase", although perhaps that's for the best, because it interrupts the way his eyes fix onto the thumb that slips between Alhaitham's lips to be cleaned of wine. Clearing his throat, he takes the bottle back; unlike the scribe, he has no hesitation before he tips it back to his lips.

At this rate, they're going to need more bottles. ]

If you ever catch me acting like that, throw a book at my head. No one deserves to sit through that.

[ No use, Alhaitham thinks, but Kaveh will pout anyway. ]

[sapio]

[Simple, a flip of a page before Alhaitham spends a couple of moments in silence. If Kaveh is being attentive enough, he'll notice that he's not exactly reading — his mind is fuzzy enough not to go further than 3 words at a time, and he's actually thinking of Kaveh moaning into a kiss because someone decided to hike up their body a little higher and creating friction.

A slight cant of his head.]

I'm not sure you'd act like that, anyway.

[indigently]

[ Admittedly, he wasn't being attentive enough a few moments ago; when Alhaitham speaks though, his head lifts and his brows raise, fixing the other with a bemused look— and it registers, vaguely, that he's not really reading—

(Which of course begs the question: what is he doing?)

He chuckles, something throatier than normal thanks to the alcohol, and reaches with the bottle, making sure to offer it to Alhaitham once again lest he drink it all himself. ]

Stop thinking about how I sound when I'm making out with someone, pervert.

[ Not that he actually thinks the other is doing anything of the sort. That would be nice convenient unlike him.

And then, because Kaveh's still tipsy from before and the extra alcohol isn't helping matters any, he continues, tone conversational: ] What about you? I can't imagine you're the noisy type either.

[sapio]

[He looks a second too long at the bottle in Kaveh's hand before he takes it, as though he's afraid of missing it when he reaches for it. He frowns at the amount of wine inside, wiggling the bottle slightly, takes another sip.

He scoffs.] So I can't think about how you sound when you make out, but you can think about me? I find that hardly fair.

[indigently]

Never claimed it was.

[ He's trying for smug, but instead he sounds thoughtful. He caught the look on the other's face, the wiggle of the bottle before he sipped, and now he's wondering if it's worth trying to go back out to the living area for more. ]

But you at least have a book. [ Even if he's not really reading it anymore. ] I have nothing to entertain me other than the wine. [ And then, a dramatic sigh. ] And that's not gonna last much longer.

[ He eyes Alhaitham in appraising silence for a moment or two. ]

I don't suppose you have more hidden in your room?